"So I'll offer myself and I'll just give until there's nothing else"

I think enough is happening in our lives right now that it calls for a little family update...

Well, my last post was just six days before we found out we are pregnant with our second munchkin! A little female Matthews will be popping out somewhere around January 20th and we are all ecstatic - except Will, who still gives a confused laugh every time I point to my belly and say "baby". Man, is he in for a shock.

In light of the new member of our family, we are moving to a larger house on base this coming Friday. We were happy to be placed in a house with a much nicer, more open layout and right in the area on base we were hoping for. Things have been quite busy and a bit stressful as we prepare for that move, but I'm happy to be dealing with the craziness at five months pregnant rather than nine. Our landlords require a perfectly clean place in order for us to move out, so I've been scrubbing when I can and packing when I'm not scrubbing. It will be a huge relief when that whole process is over!

An enormous blessing we've received recently is friends from our church (who also go way back with my folks) gave us their car for Andrew to drive to work so that I can keep the Elantra during the day. I can't explain how this will change my life and give me such a new sense of freedom. After two years of working around Andrew's unpredictable schedule and turning down opportunities, I can finally leave the house even when Andrew is at work! Wonderful, wonderful thing and we can't thank them enough for their generosity.

On top of moving, we are also gearing up for a three-week trip to Philly in October. It comes at a perfect time for us, especially for Andrew who really needs some time away from work. His opportunities to take leave are so few and far between that we were elated that they granted him such a long period of time to relax and get refreshed. We will also get to celebrate with my best friend, Heidi and her fiance, Eric, at their wedding while we're home. I am honored to be her Matron of Honor (harharhar) and can't wait to spend a day with her that we've talked about since freshman year in high school when we used to giggle incessantly on our beds and wonder what our futures would look like.

Will is growing like a weed, albeit more vertically than horizontally. His almost fourteen-month-old little legs just recently grew out of nine-month sized pants, so he's still teensy. We've discovered a level of defiance in him that I didn't know could exist at such an early age. I thought throwing fits was something that came after a child learns to talk, which is something he shows little interest in apart from his usual "dada" and "mama". Apparently, I was wrong with this one. He still shocks me every time I tell him "no" on something and he bursts into angry tears and starts smacking whatever he's frustrated with - the door, floor, his truck or me. It's mostly so surprising because he's such a sweetheart the rest of the time. He loves to sit on my lap, especially in the evenings, and give me hugs and kisses on the cheek and carry on a one-sided conversation. Sometimes he runs full-speed into my arms, throws his arms around my neck and lays his head on my shoulder like I'm his favorite person in the world. I know his defiance is just a part of growing up and realizing you don't always get what you want. I also know it's better to learn that lesson sooner rather than later, so for now I'll just see it as a good thing and an indication of how advanced he is in his understanding of life - right?

I'm overwhelmed by how blessed I am every day. Of course, I completely take it for granted more often than I ever should and there are times that the smallest thing makes me feel like life is so hard. The coffee maker breaks, I develop a cold while Will is teething, Andrew gets called into work unexpectedly. It sounds especially silly when I type it out. But then something like a conversation with someone at the grocery store or even a commercial on TV reminds me that I have an amazingly wonderful life and the Lord has blessed me with a perfect family. Not perfect, but perfect for me. It's exactly what I need and want and that's more than I could ever ask for. My job is to take care of the people I love and that's what I want to do. God gave me the job I always asked Him for and it's even better than I thought it would be. No job is without challenges and no life is without heartache, but I learn from it every time. And if I haven't learned yet I know I will.

Prayer

It really amazes me sometimes how little I take advantage of the opportunity to talk to God. Sure, I pray to Him and ask him for things and thank him for my meals, etc. But I don't feel near as honored as I should at the fact that he listens to my words, no matter how self-motivated and arrogant they sometimes are. Comparing it to how infatuated we are by celebrities makes it kind of sick. There are few people in the world who don't have some famous or semi-famous person that they dream of meeting someday. Whether it's a musician, an actor, a writer or a philosopher. I'd give my eye teeth to meet a few celebrities I can think of (Tom Hanks, for one). And I think about if I decided to write Tom Hanks a letter and even if he didn't respond - even if I found out all he did was read it and enjoy it - I would be ecstatic. That Tom Hanks read MY letter and liked it! I'd post it on my Facebook status and obnoxiously rub it in every person's face that I met. Or something like that. And, obviously, you know where I'm going with this. Even though we may not hear God's voice coming right back to us, he listens to every single word we say when we pray to him. It's guaranteed. He promises us in the Bible that if we come to Him He will listen. And He's the Creator of the Universe. He's the biggest celebrity you can possibly think of, as corny as that sounds. I'm just struck with my own stupidity sometimes that I'm not completely humbled and honored every second of every day that my own Lord and Savior listens to my silly worries; that He loves me more than I can imagine that He dries every tear I shed and gently corrects me when I make a mistake. He welcomes me back in His arms even after I've made the same mistake over and over and over again. He even promises me that I can live with Him forever in a sinless, joyful world. As much as I like Forrest Gump and Castaway, not even Tom Hanks can pull all of that off.

So those are my thoughts for today. :)

Dumb Grass

Today is an absolutely gorgeous day. This morning while Will napped I got to read, drink my coffee and watch a cute little bird couple build a nest on our balcony. I hoped we'd have some customers at our new hummingbird feeder, but I'm afraid the little guy that showed up yesterday before the feeder was hung has passed the word to his friends that we're hummingbird haters. Maybe he'll give us another chance.

When the weather is this nice in Seattle it's a crime to not take advantage of it. No, literally the cops will show up at your door and drag you outside to sit in the sun and enjoy yourself. Either that or pay a fine. Anyway, to avoid jail Will and I took a walk to a nearby field on base and spread out a blanket to play and have some snacks. I had visions of him crawling all over the field and the blanket being rather unnecessary, but I was very wrong. It turns out my son has a hatred of grass. It's not just that he would rather stay on the blanket. No, he wants nothing to do with that green garbage and even shivers violently every time his hand comes in contact with it. Being the sweet and sympathetic mother I am, I placed his bag of snacks on the grass just out of his reach and took a video of his attempt to grab it without touching any blades. You can see the extreme shiver of disgust at the end.

Writing this made me realize I use the word "just" too often.

What everyone says is true - babies grow ridiculously fast and change literally by the minute. I'm shocked at how much Will has learned and achieved just over the past couple of months. He took his first steps a couple weeks ago and learned to crawl just yesterday. A little bit out of order, but we were very proud! He hasn't mastered walking more than ten steps on his own yet, so we got him a cute little walker to push around. He practically sprints around the house with a delighted expression on his face every chance he gets. He's also learned how to give kisses and seems to be close to saying "Mama" and "Dada". Andrew and I just melt at the sweet smiles we get from him and the way he grabs our face and looks seriously into our eyes while he babbles. Such a sweetheart.

Andrew had the whole month of March "off"; meaning he didn't have to stand post. He would still go into work on weekdays usually from around 7 AM to 2 PM or so. It was wonderful having him home so much more often and having more freedom to go places as a family.

Will and I took a trip out to Columbus to see Joel and his family at the first of March. Sadly, Kate had to go on a business trip and we weren't able to see much of her, but Mimi and Papo came out for the last couple days and everyone had a blast. Will was fascinated by his silly cousins who kept him fully stocked with baby toys the whole time we were there. It was so sweet to watch the three of them interact. When we returned from Columbus, Andrew's friend, Gerald, visited us for a few days. It was a very happy reunion for the men since, with the exception of a short night at Christmas, Andrew had not seen his best friend since he left for boot camp almost two years ago. 

A couple weeks ago we also had Uncle Jon come to visit. He got a great taste of parenthood when Will got sick with a fever while he was here and cried the majority of the time. Although it may not have been how he was hoping to spend his time here, I was so grateful one night when Andrew had to work until 9:30 and Jon and I took turns walking around and distracting Will while he screamed from a painful sore throat. I think I would have just burst into tears without his help.

We've recently started going to Anchor of Hope Reformed Church in Silverdale. For about a year we had been "church shopping" and had such a hard time finding a place that seemed like a good fit. Every time we thought we found a church where we could feel at home, something would happen to drive us away or convince us it was not the right place for us. There were a few Sundays where we could have gone to church, but didn't, simply because we didn't know where to go. While that may not have been the best decision, it was an extremely frustrating and lonely time for both of us being without any christian fellowship. It became clear to both of us in January that Anchor of Hope was the place we should be. It was one of those decisions that we were both confident was right, but not positive why. Looking back on it now, I'm so thankful we trusted the Lord's guidance on that. The church is small, which has actually been such a blessing. It has a very tight-knit, family feel and the whole congregation has been so kind to us since we started attending. Andrew and I went to a workshop there a few weeks ago called The Art of Marriage, which I highly recommend. Different churches in the northwest (and maybe nationally) have been hosting this video series and it's incredibly helpful whether you've been married one year or thirty years. Andrew and I both walked out with a greater understanding of what our marriage should look like, the purpose it should serve and what our individual roles are. Our marriage has already benefited from that video series and it has been so encouraging to have such a sweet fellowship of believers to meet with weekly. Just finding a church home has personally made my life much happier and less lonely and I'm so thankful that God brought our family there.

Will and I have been taking "swimming lessons" together, which has been a pretty hilarious experience. It's helped him to get accustomed to the water and I've been pleasantly surprised that he hasn't had one meltdown. There is also a one-year-old and an eighteen-month-old in the class who spend the entire time bawling their eyes out. Will stares at them with a concerned look on his face and last week became somewhat of a role model. Every time he did something, their moms told them to do what he did. "Splash the water like the baby does." "Can you kick like the baby's doing?" You can just call him Will, the swimming instructor. He definitely did not take after Mommy in that area. I have a feeling someday he'll have to save me from a swimming pool. Anyway, I'm hoping this fearlessness of water continues and he won't be the one sobbing in a year. Fingers crossed.

I've been looking to find things to get involved in in the area for both me and Will, on and off base. There is a spouse's network in Andrew's battalion that I've been working to get more involved in and a few "Parents and Tots" groups are going to hopefully start from that soon. Will and I regularly attend story time at the local library and I just discovered an indoor playground nearby that I'd like to take him to soon. There is a toddler's music class I'd like to sign us up for in a couple months when he gets a little older as well. He's getting to such a fun age where he really enjoys being out and meeting new people, especially other kids. Plus, I'm in a constant search for other mommy friends, so once we can get a second car we'll be free to explore all we want!

Italy, dolphins and sewing machines

My folks were nice enough to let us take their nice camera back to Silverdale for a while, so I've been having fun playing with it. I thought the above picture summed up nicely what most of our days look like here - rainy and dreary. Makes it hard to get too enthusiastic about Psalm 118:24.

Our trip to Philadelphia was wonderful. We had much more time than our trip last year to spend time with family and a few friends. I was especially excited about how much Will got to see his grandparents, aunts, uncles and even cousins! It was the highlight of our trip that Andrew and I could watch him interact with his relatives. Will was an amazing traveler both ways, but especially on our way there with just me. He must have sensed that he needed to behave in order for me to keep my sanity because he was as good as gold on every flight we took! He was even able to muster up some smiles for Mimi and Papo when they picked us up in Newark at 2 AM. 

It was definitely difficult returning home. Andrew was off to work the morning after we got back and Will was up at 5 o'clock since he was still on eastern time. Of course that was the day the vacuum had to break right after we moved the christmas tree out to the curb. I also came down with the flu. So, I spent a good portion of that week sitting on our couch, armed with tissues and painkillers, picking pine needles out of my socks and wondering what happened to our wonderful vacation. Thankfully, we all adjusted, healed and got back to our normal routine. My parents are currently in Indonesia where my dad is teaching at a seminary in Jakarta. We've been receiving periodic email updates from my mom and it sounds like an amazing (and unusual) experience. I'm anxious for them to get back on American soil and hear more details.

Will seems like a different baby from a couple months ago. He's learned how to roll over both ways, so that's become his means of getting around. It's strange that I can no longer put him on a blanket and expect to find him in the same spot when I come back five minutes later. I can tell he can hardly wait to crawl. His grunts of frustration every time a toy is just out of reach seem to say his motivation is there, he just needs a little more practice and strength. He's also discovered he can scream. Not a sad scream, but just above a squeal of delight. He finds it hilarious to get his voice as high-pitched as possible and I get a kick out of it too - most of the time. He's sitting up on his own for short periods of itme and started solid foods just a week or so ago. So far the pureed peas produce some shivers and gagging (can you blame him?), but applesauce is a definite favorite. Overall, he's been doing well with that big step. Some days he eats a whole jar and some days he just enjoys biting the spoon. Speaking of which, I'm convinced some bottom teeth may be making an appearance soon. His gums are looking whiter and his increased fussiness and gnawing over the past few days are sending a pretty clear message.

For some reason sewing has been on my mind a lot lately. I've wanted to get a sewing machine and learn how to sew for years now, but I see the benefits of it especially now that I have an apartment to decorate and a little boy to dress. I get frustrated every time I see a cute pattern or neat ideas for curtains and have no means to make them! Anyway, that's definitely on my bucket list along with learning Italian and swimming with dolphins.

I think Italy and the dolphins can wait, though.

I'm shedding eyebrow hairs

I suppose it's high time for an update. Will is growing like a weed. He's now in 3-6 month clothing and has grown six inches since birth. Even so, he's in the 18th percentile for weight (definitely nothing new on my side of the family). He's recently started to roll over and seems surprised every time he succeeds. His eyes get wide and he kind of freezes in an awkward position until we smile at him and reassure him it's a good thing that he's learned to do this. He also loves to babble; especially to the animals on his sheets when he wakes from his naps. His ability to sit up is really coming along and I think we may be approaching the wonderful milestone of sleeping through the night.

He had his 4 month appointment this past week, which went very well. Vaccines are next week, unfortunately. Never fun to watch the poor little guy get poked. Andrew and I have enjoyed so much watching him become more and more aware of his surroundings. Sometimes you can just see those wheels turning when he's playing with a toy or listening to us talk to him. Although it's a bit early, we like to enforce "Mama" and "Dada" as often as possible. Hey, you never know! For me, his little laugh is the best part of my day. I completely underestimated how happy it would make me just to hear my little boy cackling and having fun. Much different from when he was a newborn and I was never exactly sure how he was feeling at any given moment except when the crying clued me in.

We are counting down the days until we get to go to Philly for Christmas. Will and I will be leaving on the 18th and Andrew will be coming a few days later on the 22nd, which is the first day he is allowed to leave. I'm anticipating a bit of a difficult trip there since we'll be stopping in San Jose, Phoenix and then flying into Newark to face the drive back to Philly. Definitely not ideal, but the cheapest way to go. Thank goodness for my sweet parents who are willing to pick us up at Newark at 11 o'clock at night. I'm sure there will be some fussy times with Will and we'll both be exhausted by the end of the day, but overall he's a real trooper whenever we have to drag him around places. His one hatred has become his car seat. As soon as he feels those straps click into place it's panic in the streets. It makes me miss when driving around the block used to be the only way to get him to calmly go to sleep.

We'll be staying in Philly until January 2nd. I'm especially looking forward to Will finally being able to meet my two brothers and their families. It's so fun to think about him running around playing with his cousins in just a few short years. We also be having him baptized on New Years Day at my church. And who better to baptize him than his very own Papo?

Some exciting news in our family - Andrew recently got promoted! He is now an E-4 and will be having his frocking ceremony next Friday to get his crows. I'm so proud of him and so blessed to have such a hardworking husband. Speaking of which, he was able to attend the Seahawks-Eagles game recently here in Seattle and help perform the opening ceremonies. He'd been talking about trying to get to that game for months, so I was excited for him that being in the military paid off! Apparently, service members are treated well around there. Him and a friend were able to jump in front of a long line of people outside a local Seattle bar and were given drinks on the house. It's nice to see people showing their appreciation for our guys.

"What ever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord." Colossians 3:23

I hope you don't mind that I put down in words...

...how wonderful life is now you're in the world.

Corny, but true. Our sweet little boy was born on July 28, 2011. The day before (Wednesday) I had gone to the doctor for my 40 week visit (I would be 40 weeks that Friday). He checked to see if I'd made much progress and, to my complete disappointment, I hadn't. He told me he guessed I would need to be induced at 41 weeks, so we got that all scheduled and planned on being back there in about 9 days. 

That evening I decided to take an extra long hard walk just to see if that might make a difference. I had been taking walks pretty regularly, but they got more intense as I started losing my patience to meet our baby. I went to Trident Lake on base and walked around it 4 or 5 times. I remember thinking it was hurting more than usual to walk and I had the feeling that there was a bowling ball between my legs. By the time I got home I collapsed on the couch and complained to Andrew about how sore I was. This was one of our last nights of just hanging out before he went back into the wire to stand posts, so we stayed up until 1 AM or so just watching TV and talking. I remember waking up at 3:45 AM and realizing that I had been dreaming that I was having contractions. It turns out, I actually was. I wasn't positive it was the real thing at first because I had had so many BH contractions and was never sure what to take seriously. I went to the bathroom, came back to bed and woke up Andrew to tell him that I was feeling a lot of pressure and we might need to go to the hospital. He'd heard me say things like that a million times before, so I can't blame him for not taking me too seriously. He told me to let him know and rolled over and went back to sleep. Not 10 minutes passed before my water broke and I flipped the light on to tell him it was definitely time to go. I think he was more flustered than I was at first.

Overall, labor couldn't have gone better. It was long, but I expected that and I ended up being so grateful for the epidural. One of the first things the hospital staff told me was that my contractions would be more intense since my water already broke. After 10 hours of dealing with the pain and finding out I still had 4 or 5 cm to go, I decided I needed to get some rest before it was time to push. Thankfully, the epidural didn't seem to slow anything down and I was complete before the pitocin even started to take effect. I pushed for about an hour and William Andrew Matthews came out at 10:52 PM, happy and healthy. Well, maybe not that happy, but definitely healthy! 6 lb. 10 oz. 19 in. long. 

Since then we've been a happy little family of three. Of course, there have been some times we've wanted to pull our hair out, but that comes with the territory. We had a little scare last month when Will had a fever and had to be admitted to the hospital for four days. Everything turned out fine, but those four days were stressful. They had a very hard time finding veins where they could draw blood and place his IV, so he had to get stuck by needles roughly 15 times. I'll never forget how hard that poor baby cried. He ultimately had to get his IV placed in his head and had to have a spinal tap as well. I was so happy to get him home and am still thanking the Lord that there was nothing seriously wrong with him.

In other news, we found out that our orders here have been extended two years, which means we'll be here until April of 2014 instead of September of 2012, as we originally were told. Our initial reaction was disappointment, but God gave us peace about it since this was clearly Him telling us where we need to be right now. I'm very grateful for a husband who saw the bright side of things and was able to pass those feelings along to me when he delivered that news. Silverdale would not be our first choice of places to live right now, but it's really not about what we want. I know God will bless us here and there are many good reasons to stay, especially with Will in the picture now. 

Will and I are going to start attending a Bible Study Fellowship program through our church. I'm really looking forward to meeting some young christian moms and maybe even finding some future friends for Will, now that I know we'll be here longer! I'm trying hard not to be the paranoid, obsessed mother who is afraid to drop her baby off in the nursery, but, I have to admit I'm failing. The bible study is only a couple of hours, so I know he'll be just fine. The worry that comes with having kids really catches you by surprise.

Our one year anniversary is coming up this Sunday and sweet friends of ours are coming to babysit Saturday night so that we can go out for the first time without Will since he was born. It will be some much-needed time to spend together without spit-up on our shoulders.

Oh, and the cats are good, don't worry.